I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
