We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
COCAINE IS GR8
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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