I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just cropdusted the office
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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