His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
i out mim tonsoeep
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