he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
