Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
