She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
