So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Michael Bay diarrhea
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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