I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Edward fifth and chaser hands
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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