Whats the glycemic index on semen?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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