Taylor Swift is so right about you.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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