Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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