found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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