hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Just fell off a train. Bad.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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