whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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