We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
