ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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