me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You can't just leave with hair like that
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
