wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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