I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize