I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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