turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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