I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize