He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Randomize
