Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
