im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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