Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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