babies were throwing up all over the place
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
