Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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