So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
