i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
