You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
