You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
