erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
