He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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