She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
