it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I got inside last night via doggy door
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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