I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
