It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
