I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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