I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
