So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
