You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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