My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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