omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
