Your tits are I can't wait for
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
