not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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