pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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