operation have a gay friend backfired
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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