I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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