"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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