she smelled like a LAN party
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
