We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
